I just looked at a preview of my blog and realized the redundancy of posting today's date at the top of every entry. That happens automatically. I'm gonna do it today anyways, for day number 5 of Thankfully November.
November 5th:
I think, the biggest thing I forget to be thankful for in this life is connectedness.
Malcolm Gladwell is (newly) one of my favorite authors, because I love facts presented in an interesting way and I love when facts teach us things and this is essentially what his books are all about. In The Tipping Point, he discusses the following concept: each of us as individual humans really only have the capacity to be deeply, interpersonally connected with about 12 people at a time at any point in our personal histories. Connected in a way that the death of one of these people would be life-altering, devastating. You know the kind of people I'm talking about? We can only have about 12 at once because interaction is complex, and the more people we know intimately, the more complex things get--not only do we have to manage our own interactions and relationships with each individual, but also the interactions and relationships of all of our 12 with each other; thus, complexity increases exponentially with every individual added to this framework. And our brains can only manage so much.
I'm saying all this because I think it's interesting and also because reading about this concept inspired me to map out MY twelve or so people. And this is what I discovered: of the 11 or 12 people that I consider my closest mentors, confidants and friends, only 2 sets of 2 live within even a 2 hour radius of each other. 12 people, in 9 different cities across this country and beyond. This is a consequence of my chosen career; I'm always meeting different people in different places and then leaving and going on to meet new people in different places. I'm a traveler after all; it is my great passion and the results are not surprising.
Now I'm saying all this because I must confess to a certain tendency I have to feel lonely and a little bit sorry for myself every now and again. Being separated from your people is not easy; I want to be with all of them always, to feel a prime level of connectedness. It doesn't help that, according to the ever-faithful personality profiling tool, StrengthsQuest, one of my greatest strengths is relator. Simply, I am comfortable with intimacy, find value in genuine relationship, and derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from being around close friends. But usually, I have to settle with one or two at a time, because teleportation still hasn't been perfected.
It doesn't help matters that the world is trying so hard to tell me that I am not special or connected. This seems counterintuitive; I have 881 friends on Facebook and some hundred odd other friends and followers on other social networking aps. But in this age of overpowering virtual interaction, human interaction seems to shrink. Loneliness is a big thing for a lot of people. Seeing photos of others interacting with people that are not you and looking happy and selecting what input about themselves to export for the digital world to see can make the world itself seem like a huge party that you weren't invited to. I try not to let this cultural message get to me, but it's there, and it makes me forget my blessings sometimes.
And so, I just want to go back and articulate my thankfulness for the incredible amount of connectedness I experience on a day to day basis, even on the occasions when I fool myself into believing that I am alone and hopeless. Not only do I have 12 people that I feel so closely connected to I would give up my life for theirs, but a wide network beyond that of people who care about me and who I love!
I have never, ever been truly alone in this world and I will never be homeless or hungry or without a friend. I will never even not have a place to crash in over half of the major cities in America. I am beyond taken care of. I try not to toss around the word "blessed" too often - but I am that! I have joyous people in my life that care not only about what I am doing, where I'm doing it, and my mental and spiritual well-being but also, the state of my earring collection on any given day and how many times I ate froyo in one week. I have done nothing to deserve this; I have just been in the right place at the right time and have been uncannily fortunate enough to meet people that connect to others and the world in the same way I do. Or in different ways, about which we can talk, and teach each other!
And that's why I'm thankful today, sitting alone in a Panera in The Big Apple, surrounded by a gazillion people that I do not know, with the prospect of connecting with a special few that make my world bright in the next hours. Life is good.
November 5th:
I think, the biggest thing I forget to be thankful for in this life is connectedness.
Malcolm Gladwell is (newly) one of my favorite authors, because I love facts presented in an interesting way and I love when facts teach us things and this is essentially what his books are all about. In The Tipping Point, he discusses the following concept: each of us as individual humans really only have the capacity to be deeply, interpersonally connected with about 12 people at a time at any point in our personal histories. Connected in a way that the death of one of these people would be life-altering, devastating. You know the kind of people I'm talking about? We can only have about 12 at once because interaction is complex, and the more people we know intimately, the more complex things get--not only do we have to manage our own interactions and relationships with each individual, but also the interactions and relationships of all of our 12 with each other; thus, complexity increases exponentially with every individual added to this framework. And our brains can only manage so much.
I'm saying all this because I think it's interesting and also because reading about this concept inspired me to map out MY twelve or so people. And this is what I discovered: of the 11 or 12 people that I consider my closest mentors, confidants and friends, only 2 sets of 2 live within even a 2 hour radius of each other. 12 people, in 9 different cities across this country and beyond. This is a consequence of my chosen career; I'm always meeting different people in different places and then leaving and going on to meet new people in different places. I'm a traveler after all; it is my great passion and the results are not surprising.
Now I'm saying all this because I must confess to a certain tendency I have to feel lonely and a little bit sorry for myself every now and again. Being separated from your people is not easy; I want to be with all of them always, to feel a prime level of connectedness. It doesn't help that, according to the ever-faithful personality profiling tool, StrengthsQuest, one of my greatest strengths is relator. Simply, I am comfortable with intimacy, find value in genuine relationship, and derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from being around close friends. But usually, I have to settle with one or two at a time, because teleportation still hasn't been perfected.
It doesn't help matters that the world is trying so hard to tell me that I am not special or connected. This seems counterintuitive; I have 881 friends on Facebook and some hundred odd other friends and followers on other social networking aps. But in this age of overpowering virtual interaction, human interaction seems to shrink. Loneliness is a big thing for a lot of people. Seeing photos of others interacting with people that are not you and looking happy and selecting what input about themselves to export for the digital world to see can make the world itself seem like a huge party that you weren't invited to. I try not to let this cultural message get to me, but it's there, and it makes me forget my blessings sometimes.
I have never, ever been truly alone in this world and I will never be homeless or hungry or without a friend. I will never even not have a place to crash in over half of the major cities in America. I am beyond taken care of. I try not to toss around the word "blessed" too often - but I am that! I have joyous people in my life that care not only about what I am doing, where I'm doing it, and my mental and spiritual well-being but also, the state of my earring collection on any given day and how many times I ate froyo in one week. I have done nothing to deserve this; I have just been in the right place at the right time and have been uncannily fortunate enough to meet people that connect to others and the world in the same way I do. Or in different ways, about which we can talk, and teach each other!
And that's why I'm thankful today, sitting alone in a Panera in The Big Apple, surrounded by a gazillion people that I do not know, with the prospect of connecting with a special few that make my world bright in the next hours. Life is good.
No comments:
Post a Comment